I'm gay. How do I bring it up to my parents?

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Answered by: Rebecca, An Expert in the Coming Out Category
First of all, congratulations on accepting yourself. It makes it a whole lot easier when you're comfortable with it.

Now, the first thing you need to consider, given that you stated you're not sure how they'll react, is whether you're sure you want to come out. If you are, Great! Don't feel pressured though. If you're really not, it's totally okay too. It has no bearing on anything except whether or not you feel like you're in a position to tell your parents that you're not straight. Doesn't measure how "proud" you are, your confidence, or your relationship with your parents.



And don't forget that what's important is you. Your privacy and safety are more important than your parents' comfort. If you feel in any way that your safety could be compromised, think long and hard about coming out. If you feel that you may need to tailor it a little bit to add something like "Please keep this in this room" because you're worried that they might tell other relatives or their friends, do so. If you feel like you may need to get ready to educate them, get on it. Take any steps to guarantee that it's comfortable for YOU.

Now, that said, remember that to a degree, this may be major news to them. They'll likely be surprised (Unless they say "I had my suspicions for a long time" then they're a little bit obnoxious). And that's perfectly valid, so don't feel bad about it. However, that doesn't in any way excuse them if they handle it poorly. Because it's still 99.9% about you, and .1% about them.



Now don't let that discourage you in any way whatsoevber. If you honestly feel comfortable and ready, and you know that it's more likely to go well than not, go for it. It's a pretty big step that a majority of LGBT+ folks will go through. It's nice to know that it'll probably go well, right? And if you think it will, Great!

To answer your original question, there are plenty of ways to come out. Every family is different. Every circumstance is different. You can frost it on a cake, sit them down and seriously discuss it with them, or even make a giant banner and hang it up while they're out. Hire a skywriter if that's how you feel comfortable. As long as it's on your terms and you're comfortable with it, why does it matter how you go about it? Some might take it better if it's done in a humorous way. Some might like to go about it in a more serious manner. No matter what, they're all perfectly valid ways to go about it.

Finally, good luck. I hope it goes well for you, my anonymous friend.

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